Tuesday, 29 October 2013

A dark day in spring

Sometimes I don't see any point in anything. I don't see any point in writing, no point in "getting on with life." No point in reaching out, no point in compassion. No point in expressing myself, no point in seeing the beauty around me. Sometimes it all just hurts too much, sometimes I just want to crawl up in bed and just think about my self. Selfish? Perhaps...

Its a warm sunny day yet it feels like a dark day in spring.

It feels like it only happened yesterday but its been over 6 months.

I cant see tomorrow.

I cant see what the future holds for me anymore.
I thought I had it all, now I don't.

Sometimes the people who I think know me best, don't know me at all anymore.

I know all these emotions are just another wave drowning me with the ugliness of grief.
I miss my boy.
I miss my son.
I miss Lukas and that's the one phrase that brings me to tears every time.
I miss him.

I just miss him.