Tuesday, 29 October 2013

A dark day in spring

Sometimes I don't see any point in anything. I don't see any point in writing, no point in "getting on with life." No point in reaching out, no point in compassion. No point in expressing myself, no point in seeing the beauty around me. Sometimes it all just hurts too much, sometimes I just want to crawl up in bed and just think about my self. Selfish? Perhaps...

Its a warm sunny day yet it feels like a dark day in spring.

It feels like it only happened yesterday but its been over 6 months.

I cant see tomorrow.

I cant see what the future holds for me anymore.
I thought I had it all, now I don't.

Sometimes the people who I think know me best, don't know me at all anymore.

I know all these emotions are just another wave drowning me with the ugliness of grief.
I miss my boy.
I miss my son.
I miss Lukas and that's the one phrase that brings me to tears every time.
I miss him.

I just miss him.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Shine Bright

I've been a bit quiet around my blog lately but its a good thing. There's nothing like turning my experiences into raw and emotional expressions through writing but I have been slightly occupied into taking a different turn into an expression through crafts. I have started a new project called Shine Bright Mason Jars. As some of you may know I started making these mason jars for candles a couple of months back now as a hobby. I started decorating them for the house but I then made one for Lukas and it came to me that I could offer these for bereaved parents just like me. I started with a Facebook page and uploaded some photos and people are interested! Since starting the page 2 weeks ago I've had 6 orders and I have sent 2 already. I love creating with a purpose. I find peace in making these for mums in memory of their angel baby's, its special, healing, its compassion. Its something I enjoy doing and I expect nothing in return apart from pure joy in giving and knowing that I may bring a smile to someones face.
I'm currently offering these for free in New Zealand, however I'll be more than happy to arrange postage internationally if anyone is interested. Click on the picture below for the link to my Shine Bright Facebook page.
Shine Bright Mason Jars Facebook Page