Thursday, 12 September 2013

Healing Steps Series

I know that my blog posts are are way for me to express this journey I have unwillingly being forced to take. I write down my raw emotions of sadness, anger, confusion, fear and all the other mixed up feelings that fill up this bucket of grief. I decided to start a blog soon after Lukas had passed because I wanted to share our story, his story and what continues to be our story.
But it came to me last night that I would also like to start writing about my progress into Healing. It will be a way for me to concentrate on something positive. I can not change the tragedy that happened but what I can change is my way of processing everything. I will never be cured entirely since a part of my heart will always be missing but I can try to perhaps stitch it up a little. I know these stitches will probably come loose every now and then but I do hope that with time every stitch will become stronger. Healing steps will be my personal steps into encouraging myself into finding ways to bring a little light back into my life.
I am not too sure how many people read my blog, or who those that read it have also gone through something similar. But I would like to think that these Healing Steps might also give you some ideas into turning grief into something beautiful.
Below is my first entry into Healing Steps.

Healing Steps: "Walking on the Beach"

Papamoa Beach
I am so happy I decided to make the move nearly 3 years ago now from the big smoke of Auckland to the little town of  Papamoa. We have a beautiful beach here and all I have to do is cross the road and I'm in paradise. I have always loved the beach, the salty air,the sound of crashing waves, the sensation of the sand on my feet. Whenever I'm stressed and just need to get out I take my troubles to the beach. I grab my iphone, plug in my earphones and just walk. I stop every now and then to admire the different shades of blues out in the water and up in the sky. I spot for heart shaped clouds and if the suns peers through the clouds perfectly I snap a photo. I write Lukas's name every time I go out to the beach now. Its turned into a ritual. I find a stick, write his name always with a butterfly above the L , I take a moment to remember him before the waves take it to the sea. I come back home feeling refreshed, like all my negative energy has been absorbed. There's something about the sea that brings me peace.

Photo taken at Mission Bay of Rangitoto Island